About Me

I am a mother of adoption loss. Forced to sign away my parental rights to my first born child. I was not a child abuser, drug abuser nor was I a criminal. I was young and unmarried. This is not in the 1800’s this was in the late 1980’s. Still today, women in unexpected pregnancies face incredible pressures. This is supposed to be a developed nation. I have broken the silence forced upon me and thousands of women. I no longer feel the stigma nor shame that family and society placed upon me.

I am not a great writer, however, the real stories need to be told.

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4 thoughts on “About Me

  1. I attempted suicide twice … once by pills and once by automobile, but failed in both attempts. I just had no desire to live after the loss of my child. Thank God I failed in my attempts, for in 1997 I was able to reunite with my firstborn son lost to me through adoption. He was born in 1965. To any others who may read these notes and be considering suicide yourself, I beg you to reconsider. We are all working hard to change the laws. You just never know when the blessing of reunion might happen. Please don’t give up, I beg you.

    • Thank you for sharing Sonia. I also attempted many times and failed. Although reunion is not assured in adoption, a parent of adopton loss must preservere through the pain in hopes of reunion. I have spoken to adoptees who have searched only to find thier natural parent had passed before they could get answers to thier origins and beginnings. We have to endure for thier sake and to tell our stories.

      • I didnt try to commit suicide. I did however live through my own hell, right here on earth. I turned to substance abuse. I wanted to do anything to numb the pain of a broken heart. they dont tell you when your sitting in the chair at the adoption agency, that you will have an ache deep in your heart forever. they dont tell you that the pain will never go away. they dont tell you lots of things. all in the name of giving a total stranger the gift of having a child they, for whatever reason cannot concieve on their own. they do however feed you full of bullshit lies, and for the brief moment, fill your head full of endearing compliments and build you up to be someone special. thats how they get what they want, and when they do get what they want, they throw you away as if you were a piece of discarded trash. I told my daughters Adopted mother on the phone that I felt like the empty box her pretty present came in…and if I had to guess, thats exactly how most birthmoms feel.

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