Suicide by Adoption

I lost a friend yesterday, well, he was found yesterday. A few years ago he had reached out to me for support services. We naturally became friends. You see Sean was an adoptee. He asked me to help him find his natural family. I had first found his mother, who refused to respond to me. I then found his father who lovingly folded Sean into his family immediately. They had a loving relationship. Sean’s dad had always wanted him and made sure he knew. Sadly the whole that adoption had created in Sean was too big that all the love from his father could not fill. A few years later, Sean reached out to his mother again. This time she responded. The heart wrenching, primal cry that came from this young man when he heard his mother’s voice was not enough to break open her motherhood. She sat silently while he cried “I have missed you my whole life”. I wonder if her love could have healed the wounds adoption had created, we will never know now.
There is no therapy and no pill to fix the pain adoption creates. Sean was unable to feel the love then rest of us gave. I will try to console myself that he knew his feelings were valid and just from the support of our little group. He was so kind and so sensitive. A very special young man. He gave me and others as much support and advice as what he received. I wished he could feel some sense of peace or happiness for some moment in time.

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2 thoughts on “Suicide by Adoption

  1. I don’t understand how a mother cannot embrace her long lost chilld. I would have given my all if my son had reciprocated when I reached out to him. Instead he slammed the door shut. My heart goes out to this young man and cry for the injustice dealt him

  2. He exuded such a gentleness that seems so rare these days, especially in young men his age–he seemed to have a maturity and wisdom that was beyond his years. In that one brief chance I had to meet him this past summer at your lovely home L, I feel I was so lucky, like I had a brief glimpse of something too beautiful for this ugly world.

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