And so here it is. I had finally gotten to a point of being “ok” with the silence between my daughter and I. When I say “ok” I mean no longer writhing in pain from separation and silence. Then WHAM! Its like being hit with a semi truck full of pain. One picture…that’s all it took. It appears I am going to join the un-grandmother club now too. I was not told. The writing is on the wall, I will not be allowed to love and know my grandbaby now either. Im guessing from the picture this will happen in the next 3-4 months. I’m just so tired of losing. When will it end?
Funny that my mother and sister were complaining recently of us “wanting our cake and eating it too”. I’ve been served up a big slice of my incubator cake and I can tell you its fucking hard to swallow.