Letting Go

Alright, I told you I’d be back to write a little update. Things have not changed with my “reunion” but I have done some growing up. I have learned so much from my wonderful adopted freinds and I am forever grateful to them. I am no longer the hurting 15 year old wanting, yearning and wishing to have my baby back. This does not mean that I have “healed” from the trauma induced by adoption but that I can finally put my trauma to the side to live again. I have greived for my lost baby and need to now see if there is anything that can come of two adults knowing each other. I have realized that what was lost will never be recovered. I am an adult and so is she. I cannot reparent her and I will never recoup the lost time that is glaringly obvious between us. I guess you can say that I have “let go”. This doesn’t mean that I don’t want her in my life and that I don’t love her. I always will want and love her but I no longer obsess over needing her to be in my life. I can’t control what another adult does and in reality, life does get busy. She is newly married and is making her own life as a young adult and truly it must be hard to find time in her life for the freinds and family she knows.

I am focusing on my own story and the injustices done to myself and other mothers like me. This is my story and I do not need to be scared that she’ll see it and be angry that I told the truth. I have come to the realization that I cannot hide what happened. I need to stand by my sisters and speak out with them and fully join the fight for justice. I cannot control her reactions if she were to find out the truth, it is not for me to worry about. So, I have even allowed a reporter to use my name in an article. I had severe anxiety but once I read the published piece, I was fine. I felt free actually. So while I have been “away” from my blog, I have been regrowing up and learning the lessons that I needed in order to move forward with my life. This has been a very long road but I am happy I have gotten where I am. I think we need to greive the loss of our child both when we lose them and when we find them. Then we need to let go and allow things to move where they will without force or grovelling. It is hard to push the desparation aside but once you can get by it, it feels better.

MIA IN ADOPTIONLAND

Alright, I know I have been completely ignoring my blog. Well, almost completely. I have been posting the articles that have been coming out in Canada and slowly reviving in the U.S. about forced adoption practices. This has been pretty much all consuming lately. I’ve been trying to keep up with the media releases and making sure they are posted every where, commenting, etc. all the while trying to have a somewhat normal existance which I think I have concluded is impossible when you have been altered by adoption. I will be posting a real blog entry soon. Stay tuned 🙂

National Post | News

Ontario’s NDP urged the Dalton McGuinty government Wednesday to look at launching an inquiry into the province’s historic adoption practices in the wake of accusations from women who say they were coerced by social agencies, medical workers and churches into giving up their children.

“I would urge the Minister of Children and Youth Services in Ontario to give serious consideration to calls for an inquiry, and to listen carefully to the views of groups representing those who have been affected by these practices in maternity homes and elsewhere,” Monique Taylor, the Ontario NDP’s critic for children and youth services, said in a statement.

[np-related]

The ministry said in an email earlier this week the Ontario government “does not have plans” for an inquiry.

Ms. Taylor’s call comes after the Salvation Army and the United Church both announced reviews of their maternity homes’ practices from the 1940s to the 1980s, when…

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Quebec’s Catholic Church accused of coercing adoptions

Quebec's Catholic Church accused of coercing adoptions.

MONTREAL – A class-action lawsuit accusing Quebec’s Catholic Church of kidnapping, fraud and coercion to force unwed mothers to give up their children for adoption is being organized by one of Canada’s highest-profile law firms.

The accusations date back to the 1950s and ’60s, when the law firm alleges unwed mothers in maternity homes and hospitals were coerced by social-service personnel and hospital employees, often members of the Catholic Church working for the government, to sign documents giving up their children without being told they had the right to keep them.

Read more: http://www.montrealgazette.com/life/Quebec+Catholic+Church+accused+coercing+adoptions/6298084/story.html#ixzz1p895ykHZ

Previous Post

National Post | News

As more mothers come forward to push for an inquiry into Canada’s historic adoption practices targeting unmarried women, fathers have emerged to say they, too, were coerced into surrendering their children.

In Sutton, Ont., Raymond Cave said he was never asked to sign a surrender document in 1967, even though the people handling the adoption knew he was the father. In Saskatchewan, Bernard Shepherd said he was only allowed to look at his baby before signing the surrender document, and said he was never told about the option for a temporary wardship so he could take some time to consider raising the child with his mother’s help. And an adoptee remembered how when she contacted her natural father, he had no idea she existed.

“There’s a whole other side to this story,” said Mr. Cave, whose high school sweetheart, Linda Dawe, got pregnant at age 17 in 1966, when the couple…

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Finally validation for the mothers in a small way. Thank you to the retired judge who had the courage to speak out and right his wrongs………..

National Post | News

The Salvation Army says it is conducting an internal review into its historic maternity homes, just as a retired Calgary judge — who was once a high-ranking child welfare worker in the city — has come forward and corroborated some of the claims mothers have recently made about coercive adoption practices directed at unmarried mothers decades ago.

‘These people thought they were doing good – they thought these girls were sluts. They thought they were rescuing these children from a life of poverty,” said Herbert Allard, a former social worker, who said he was prompted to speak out upon reading the National Post’s story on forced adoptions over the weekend.

“At the time, I was divorced from the reality … It upset me in a way, but it’s just what went on.”

His account appears to confirm the coercion was systematic: He said the Salvation Army accepted teen mothers…

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