Surrender…short and not so sweet

When my daughter was lost to adoption, the deck was stacked against me to keep her. I was cut off at every turn. Since my so called reunion, it has become apparent that the deck is stacked again. I’m tired of trying and begging to be in an email reunion which is almost completely silent on her side. She has made it loud and clear that I currently have no place in her life by her silence and rudeness. I have heard many times that the adoptee had no choice and therefore needs to be catered to. I also had no choice in adoption and so now I have decided to surrender to adoption again as its powers are stronger than me. I have quit reunion. I do not deserve to be treated like shit for having her stolen from me and I refuse to continue the punishment. If she seeks me out, I will always be there but I can no longer pursue her. I’m done.

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4 thoughts on “Surrender…short and not so sweet

  1. V ~ yeah… I get it. It’s just too hard, too much. You absolutely do not deserve to be treated like you have been.

    I truly believe that one day the people responsible for our (first moms) loss & grief will KNOW what they have done, and will pay the price. I’m not an overly religious person, but I do believe that our God is a just God, one who created the family as sacred, to be honored ~ not torn apart. He expects us to love and support each other, not covet and/or take away that which is of another person.

    Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier for us to live our lives without our children however.

    Love you girl ~
    Susie

  2. You have tried, over and over… As long as you keep your info out there ~ in case she wants to contact you ~ there is nothing else to be done. Except pray and keep a sliver of hope alive, that your daughter will one day want to know you.

  3. I would never tell you to try and try again Vamp. These are not children we are dealing with, they are adults who should know full well how to maintain and manage a relationship. No, they did not have a choice in their adoption, but no, neither did we. Far and few between are the first moms who are okay with what they did. We deserve respect, I believe we ask for nothing more and should accept nothing less. Hugs.

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