Please follow the link to read the story on Carla’s plight. The court ruled against her in her case of open adoption fraud against the adopters (abducters) of her daughter.
1 Kings 3:16-28
King James Version (KJV)
16Then came there two women, that were harlots, unto the king, and stood before him.
17And the one woman said, O my lord, I and this woman dwell in one house; and I was delivered of a child with her in the house.
18And it came to pass the third day after that I was delivered, that this woman was delivered also: and we were together; there was no stranger with us in the house, save we two in the house.
19And this woman’s child died in the night; because she overlaid it.
20And she arose at midnight, and took my son from beside me, while thine handmaid slept, and laid it in her bosom, and laid her dead child in my bosom.
21And when I rose in the morning to give my child suck, behold, it was dead: but when I had considered it in the morning, behold, it was not my son, which I did bear.
22And the other woman said, Nay; but the living is my son, and the dead is thy son. And this said, No; but the dead is thy son, and the living is my son. Thus they spake before the king.
23Then said the king, The one saith, This is my son that liveth, and thy son is the dead: and the other saith, Nay; but thy son is the dead, and my son is the living.
24And the king said, Bring me a sword. And they brought a sword before the king.
25And the king said, Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one, and half to the other.
26Then spake the woman whose the living child was unto the king, for her bowels yearned upon her son, and she said, O my lord, give her the living child, and in no wise slay it. But the other said, Let it be neither mine nor thine, but divide it.
27Then the king answered and said, Give her the living child, and in no wise slay it: she is the mother thereof.
28And all Israel heard of the judgment which the king had judged; and they feared the king: for they saw that the wisdom of God was in him, to do judgment.
I am working on finding peace. I don’t believe that there is healing in adoption loss. Peace, however, has possibilities. I have been weaning myself off of the monthly emails to my lost daughter as it seems to be almost an irritant to respond to me. I have gotten tired of the one way relationship (if you can call it that) that we seem to have. I email her, then check a million times in hopes of a response. The response sometimes comes and sometimes doesn’t. Hope is a terrible thing to have, it creates anxiety as you wait for something to transform your relationship from what it is into something that is should have always been. I think I have finally given up hope and am trying to find acceptance and some sort of peace. I have been here all along waiting and trying for over 3 years with little in return. I think that this pattern is destructive to me and I am doing my best to try to let go. I have been very busy with a new acreage that we are developing which helps immensely with keeping my mind occupied instead of the constant waiting and hoping. She has not been rude to me but I can tell that it is too much like work for her to just have a plain, normal conversation. I have given up the dream of seeing her face to face and have taken a break from most of my adoption support sites.
One day soon I am looking forward to the possibility of peace.