New verses Pre-Owned…Nothing will Change

Regardless of all the evidence and personal testimony that babies are being stolen, it comes down to one thing which is greed. Adopters greedily want a baby to pretend that they gave birth. This is evident because there are so many children in foster care that need a home and/or parents but adopters don’t want used children, they want brand new. They want to be the first owner. They also think that they are entitled to another womans baby and turn a blind eye as to how the baby was obtained. There are numerous, too many to count, articles in the news that prove that adoption is no less than kidnapping and yet no one will do anything to stop it. Adopters are the only ones that can stop this crime against humanity. The reason they are the only ones that can stop this is due to the fact that they are the ones driving the market on the purchase of babies. Agencies nor governmental departments will stop this multi-billion dollar a year industry because it makes money. Again, greed. I have come to the conclusion that nothing will change. Adopters really don’t give a shit how they get a baby, they just want one. The news reports are few and far between when this crime happens on a daily basis. NO ONE CARES. We, natural mothers, are disposable to them. The only way that this will ever stop is if we can stop the cash flow. I am pasting some of the reported criminal acts at the international level for your veiwing pleasure:

This is the link for the full site: https://sites.google.com/site/internationaladoptionfacts/

International Adoption Facts

 

Child Trafficking: Crimes of the International Adoption Industry

Providing information on criminal activity and ethical violations committed by the international adoption industry. 

Excerpt: “The girls are often sold … to agencies that arrange foreign adoptions.”

International Adoption From Costa Rica: Child Smuggling from Guatemala:

International Adoption From Guatemala:

International Adoption From Haiti:

International Adoption from India:

International Adoption From Kenya :

International Adoption From Korea

Excerpt:  “‘According to the questionnaire that we distribute at the orientation interview, 90 percent want to keep the babies, says Kim Yongsook, the director of Ae Ran Won. But after counseling, maybe 10 per cent will keep them. We suggest that it’s not a good idea to keep the baby‘…. After delivery at a hospital, the baby is taken from the mother.. ” (An adoption agency director openly admits to coercing Korean mothers)

International Adoption From Liberia

International Adoption From Samoa

International Adoption From Vietnam

United Nations Reports Pertaining to Child Trafficking and International Adoption

Excerpt:  “During the course of 2002, the Special Rapporteur received many complaints relating to allegedly fraudulent adoption practices. Where such practices have the effect that the child becomes the object of a commercial transaction, the Special Rapporteur, like his predecessor, considers that such cases fall within the “sale” element of his mandate. The Special Rapporteur was shocked to learn of the plethora of human rights abuses which appear to permeate the adoption systems of many countries” (p. 25).

Articles About International Adoption and Market Demand:

International Adoption From Brazil

International Adoption From Cambodia:

International Adoption From China:

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Unwanted and Other Fairytales

Adoption beliefs are skewed at best. Most of society believes that adoption takes place when a baby is unwanted or unloved. There are a lot of adoptees that believe they were abandoned by their mother for these reasons and that their adopters saved them. Reality isn’t so. These babies were wanted and were loved. They still are wanted and loved.
When a woman finds herself in an unplanned pregnancy, a lot of factors come into play. Family can create pressure on the young mother about what they feel she should do. Society can also create pressure even in todays day and age. Everyone seems to have an opinion. Adoption is almost assured to be brought up as an “unselfish and right” choice. Usually someone will suggest going to an agency to get more information. Once the young woman is in an agencies hands, she doesn’t have much hope of parenting her unborn child. They start with the emotional tear downs, usually playing on the mothers love for her child. They will make her feel unworthy of her baby and go so far as to suggest she is a bad mother for considering keeping her baby. After all, if you love your baby, you would want the best for him/her wouldn’t you?
Next will come the financial coercion. They will float out inflated figures of how much it costs to raise a child. Some actually post right on their website that it costs over $700,000 to raise a child, this is untrue of course. How will you afford it? Where will you live? If your parents won’t help you, do you know how much rent is? Most agencies know of homes that will assist single parents, but these are never suggested. They also won’t tell them of social funding available to assist them. This is the emotional teardown that happens to these young moms. Nowadays, they are also told of the wonders of open adoption and how they can still see their child however much they want to. These are lies. Once the papers are signed, you have no rights to that child. I know from personal experience, that open adoptions can and do close. Usually after the adoption is finalized and the adopters have gotten what they wanted. Open adoption is a LIE to entice women out of their baby and MOST infant adoptions are not unwanted babies. These women have been coerced out of their child. They usually realize too late what has happened and their baby is gone.

Other fairytales that float out there is that you are giving your child a two parent, financially stable home. They won’t tell you that adopters can and do divorce at the same rate as other couples. They won’t tell you that an adopter can run into financial trouble or lose their jobs the same as anyone else. They give them the mystique of being untouchable by these things. They also will not tell you that adopters can and do abuse the children they adopt. I’m not saying that all do, but SOME do. Until a child is in their home, how can they ever be convicted of child abuse or pedophilia? I have heard numerous accounts from adoptees of emotional and physical abuse at the hands of the adopters as well as sexual abuse. Did these children really go to a better home? Why was a mother considered unsuitable for her own child due to age or finances when she has not been proved to be an unfit mother by abuse nor neglect?

One of the worst fairytales told is that a mother will move on and forget after surrendering her child. We don’t. In fact, I will insert two studies here on the effect of adoption on the natural mother:

Kelly, J. (1999)

  • 89% of mothers answered “Extremely true” to the statement “Relinquishing my child was a traumatic experience. 96% answered either “Extremely true” or “Very true.”
  • 95% selected the “most frequent” or “most severe” response to one or more items measuring unresolved grief.
  • In response to items concerning depression, 51% reported experiencing severe depression since the relinquishment, with 97% reporting some degree of depression (mild, moderate, or severe).
  • 63% have had thoughts about killing themselves.
  • 85% stated it was extremely true that “I was either misled or not informed of the effects that relinquishment would have on me

– Kelly, J. (1999). The trauma of relinquishment: The long-term impact of relinquishment on birthmothers who lost their infants to adoption during the years 1965-1972. (Master’s thesis, Goddard College, 1999). – http://www.birthmothers.info/kelly/index.html

A study of “baby scoop era” mothers, yes, but there is NO evidence that more recent adoption practices are any better or easier on mothers.

another study, 21% attemped suicide:

Logan, J. (1996)

  • 21% of mothers had made attempts on their lives
  • 82% reported significant depression as a result of surrender
  • 68% described themselves as having a significant mental health problem.
  • 32% had been referred to specialized psychiatric treatment on an out-patient or in-patient basis and 18% had received treatment for a continuous period of 5 years or longer. This compares to a normative statistic of 3% of all women in the U.K. who were referred in 1993 to the same treatment service.

Logan, J. (1996). Birth mothers and their mental health: Uncharted territory. British Journal of Social Work, 26(5), 609-625.

Strangely, It does NOT appear that we move on nor forget our God given children. If an adoptee actually believes that this could be possible, it is based on fairytales or more bluntly, LIES. If you are an adoptee, be assured that your mother has never forgotten you and was and is severely traumatized by the loss of you. Please read Adoptee Angst by Celeste Billhartz, she is an adoptee with regrets. Do not live with the same regrets she has. If you have not found your mother, start looking today.

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A revolution

As the world watches the recent civil revolution in Egypt which also spawn the civil revolution in Jordan, I sit here in great wonder at the conviction of people in other nations. Their conviction is so great that their passion for their beliefs out weigh any possible harm that they may incur. I want that type of passion in my convictions. I want to create a civil revolution from mothers who have endured great loss and criminal acts at the hands of authorities under the guise of lawfulness. The young, scared women we were, are not the women we now are. We are voters, lawyers, doctors or even wives of the like. We are by THEIR definition the very people they would have given our children to.

The difficult part is for women to come out of the adoption closet. I believe, from living it, that this is due to the amount of shame and secrecy put onto us from society and family. Once they acknowledge their lost children, then it comes down to coming out of the fog, which sadly a lot of women never do. It is so strange looking back at my own story and knowing that for years I considered adoption a choice.

WE, as a group, have the ability to change laws and to seek justice for ourselves for the crimes against us and our children. WE need to have our voices heard in the highest courts. WE need to stand together and create our own revolution.

How do we get our sisters to break the silence? There are so many that have kept the secret for so long. It gets locked away and we partition ourselves from it. So many remain in the fog of adoption. I kept the silence of what happened for 22 years. It was like I had locked a closet door full of trauma. What made me different that I finally admitted the horrific things they did to obtain my baby? When did the brainwashing wear off of adoption being a choice?

If adoption consists of coercion, financially or emotionally. If it consists of force or threats when coercion does not work, HOW THE HELL IS THIS NOT KIDNAPPING? Why are all parties not brought to justice? I mean REAL justice! Justice meaning that all parties involved are put in prison and serving the term appropriate for kidnapping our children and for the crimes they have committed against us.

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What I’ve Lost

As I get older, the enormity of the “have not’s” weigh heavily on me. I will never have the daughters love from my first-born child, I have lost out on the memories of the crazy and funny stories of her childhood. I will never have memories of comforting her when she was hurt, nor of nursing her as a baby. My other two daughters have not grown up with an older sister to gossip with, fight with and to get into mischief with. They will never know the love of a big sister. I will not be the mother of the bride as my daughter gets married this fall nor will I be in attendance. I will not be by her side as my grandchildren are born into this world as my descendents will be lost to me. Adoption has robbed me of all this.

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The New Witch Hunt-Adoption

For a few hundred years all throughout the known world, women were accused of witchcraft. These women were tortured and put to death for various reasons such as being a midwife, a healer by using herbs and also for their sexuality. All throughout time, we have been repressed as a subservient that needed to be ruled. To this day, women who are raped can be stoned or burned to death because they obviously were flaunting their sexuality. Young women endure sexual mutilation known as female circumcision so that they cannot enjoy sex as that would be considered a sin. I draw parallels to these women with the way unwed mothers have been treated and tortured today. The deserving, married and upstanding infertile women deserve our children as punishment for our indiscretions. The children are then redeemed of our sinfulness by being raised in proper homes. This is another form of repression and discrimination against women. It is no different from the women who turned against their neighbor or sister in accusations of being a witch. Knowing these women will be tortured and killed. Young women were scorned of society while the young man responsible for the pregnancy was protected and pitied that the whorish girl had conned him and violated him. Words that echo the following sentiment can be found written throughout social workers handbooks and still bear the attitude of society today:

“‘The father plays absolutely no part in this. That is part of her rehabilitation. When she renounces her child for its own good, the unwed mother has learned a lot. She has learned an important human value. She has learned to pay the price of her misdemeanor, and this alone, if punishment is needed, is punishment enough… ‘ Dr Hillard echoes the beliefs of the social workers and the agencies dealing with unwed mothers, though hers have come to her privately. And she, like the other authorities, though refusing to blame the girl’s home, lays the remedy right on its doorstep… ‘We must go back to a primary set of values and the discipline that starts with the very small child,’ says Dr. Hilliard.” (Dr. Marion Hilliard of Women’s College Hospital, as quoted in the Toronto Telegram, November 22, 1956)

It does make me wonder where are our sisters who fought for equal rights for all women and why are our voices now silent? How do we stand by and watch the crimes against humanity which include separating a mother and child? Is it for personal gain that many will stand by and decide who is better fit to parent when no abuse nor neglect is present?  What happened to us? Where is the village of elder women who guide the young women in parenting?  Why are we divided and no longer stand together uniformly and demand justice for women whose children were wrongfully obtained in order to make a buck?

To me, most DIA (domestic infant adoption) is a result of discrimination against women. It is inhumane to its core. It was developed to punish us wicked women and to “save” the bastard.

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